No “read more” because ipod - TW
I did cut last night. And, once I’d started, I got into the mentality that I’d already screwed it up for the first cut so may as well keep going.
I’m in the research lab at the moment… Been having a dodgy chest and feeling dizzy all day. I’m mainly staying here because I don’t want people to see me leaving after only being here for a short time (need to give the key back so no chance of sneaking off).
I’m typing up diary entries for a self-harm project =\ it’s pretty intense. I don’t think it’s really triggered me as such, but I still don’t want Ellen to know that I feel shit at the moment. I mean, if I can’t handle one full day now, how will I cope if she offers me a full-time research assistant position?
Feeling very sleepy and a little teary. I don’t even know what I want to do… If I go home, it’s just another day of laying around and feeling useless… But then I don’t want to stay here either. And I just feel so exhausted in every way. I’m just tired of everything.